It wasn't in the plans. I love having multiple plans, lists, categories on the lists and lists of lists. I continually aspire to be an organizing, plan-thriving and accomplishing-it machine. However, it has come to my attention, as a post-grad level student at the University of Reality, that life doesn't always happen according to my...plans.
In the middle of late summer goals, activities, lists and other important facets of life, it happened. I struggled for over a week trying to win. I lost. Day after day, night after night, effort after effort, I attempted to deny, defeat and determine it would not happen. It happened.
So I arrived at the doctor's office earlier today, mentally reviewing my recent week's activities and how my plans manged to...gulp...change. It is quite important to breathe, not cough continually and not feel as if an elephant was on my lungs or a cement block was in my head. Yes, I rationalized, in order to accomplish all that needs to be done, I must have breath, strength and endurance. It made sense to do this in order to handle those...plans.
It didn't take long for me to realize what mattered most. God gives me each breath. I have been reminded for many years that each breath He allows me to take is a tremendous gift. Not laboring for that breath at times is an additional blessing. He has given me an excellent doctor and staff, wonderful pharmacy friends and the ability to obtain medications to help me breathe for the rest of my life, including times of struggle. Yet it took me a restless, sleepless, painful week to slow down long enough to understand.
It's not wrong to try to be a good steward of my time. Yet losing sight of what's most important is not how it should be, either. Thank You, God, for slowing me down in the middle of this hurried life...again. May I focus on You...Your hope, healing, strength and love...most of all.<3~thl
"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." Micah 7: 7
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