Really Listening...?

“Why, hello, how are you?” (Now before you say anything, I will immediately find something else to do, somewhere else to go or someone else to talk to before I listen to your response!) Have you ever had that happen to you? Occasionally? Ok…let’s be real…most of the time? Yes…me, too. It has been a secret goal of mine to conduct an unannounced and informal survey for quite an extended amount of time. I watch, listen, observe and, yes, even participate in conversations with others. I wish I could tell you that most people notice that there’s much more talking than listening in our society. But my observations…and experiences…show otherwise. I wish I could tell you that there is a balance between individuals in conversations. But that doesn’t seem to be the case, either. I wish I could tell you that even when someone takes the time to speak to someone else, they frequently not only avoid listening to the other one…they often avoid even looking at that individual. I have consistently observed that while Person A is talking to Person B, Person A is looking all around the room to find as many others as possible that Person A can speak to before leaving the location. I find this heartbreaking! It has been my concern for a very, very long time that there is an epidemic of hurting people around us. It has also been my concern that the majority of them are suffering in silence. That may be for several reasons. But perhaps one of the main reasons is because there is a very tragic shortage of people who take the time to listen. It is never my intention to use Facebook as a platform for my pet peeves. But I do want to share thoughts with my dear friends and family members that may be of encouragement and importance. I have no doubt that many of you have repeatedly experienced the feeling of loneliness in the middle of a crowd of people. I certainly have. Although some of you may find it surprising, I am a very shy person. Seriously…we’re talking painfully shy! It is something I have battled all my life. If I am comfortable around people I know, my shyness factor remains hidden. (That’s why many of you didn’t realize this.) But if I am around a crowd of people or someone I don’t connect with initially, I remain very quiet, reserved and a wallflower, at best. I share this little insight about my shyness for a reason. I know how it feels to be alone although many people are around me. I know what it’s like to watch others interact and feel like I am on the outside looking in. Of course, there are other times when I feel comfortable to chat with others and laugh without hesitation. But the majority of the time, I certainly understand the agonizing pain that often comes when I feel alone…very alone…in a crowd. Sometimes I may not be having the best day. Sometimes I may actually be hiding some very sad news I have recently received. Sometimes, I watch others and wish I was that pretty, that smart, that talented, that popular, that thin, that accepted…and even…that valuable. My point in sharing this is that we never know what is going on in someone’s heart, mind or life. We may think they are doing great because they appear to be doing well. Yet they could be struggling more than we imagine. Sometimes those that say nothing have so much within to unleash…if only someone would listen. Sometimes those that laugh the most…are hurting the deepest. Sometimes those who seem so popular feel most insecure. Sometimes those who we consider very attractive…do not see anything beautiful about their lives. Sometimes those we believe have it all together…are silently falling apart. Sometimes we just don’t take the time to ask…or listen…or care. We are so busy trying to find our own way that we forget others are also searching, too. I know we may not be able to solve every issue in another person’s life. But I wonder how much difference it would make if we really listen…closely…deliberately…genuinely…lovingly. I wonder if we could take the time to touch each person in our path with the kindness, hope and love we so deeply crave ourselves. A quote I really appreciate says “To the world you may be just one person. But to one person, you may be the world.” (Brandi Snider) I have been there. Life is a tremendous blessing to me. But many times through the years, I have felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and wondered how I would get through another situation or another concern or another heart break. But when one person…who had no idea what was going on behind my smile or my silence…shared kindness with me, it make all the difference. All it took was knowing that someone cared…at that moment…and saw value in me…and then my perspective, my hope, my determination and even my faith…grew stronger. Dear friends…if we are too busy to care…we are much too busy!!! There’s something terribly wrong when we wear the name of friends, family, Christian brothers and sisters, neighbors and fellowmen…but we don’t even take the time to listen to someone…or when we can’t take the time to even look at them when we speak so we can hurry on our way. I am not against technology by any means…unless my computer or smart phone is being difficult. Seriously, I am grateful for the many ways we can connect with one another by computers, phones, social media, television, etc.. There are blessings that can arise from technology. But I find it so sad when we spend more time looking at our electronic devices than we spend truly listening to the hearts of those around us. Why do we make time for technology when we have little or no time for those precious lives God has placed in our path to love and reach for Him? May we realize that life is so very fragile. Who we see or know today may not be with us tomorrow. Perhaps we may not even be here tomorrow. May we realize that our time here is not about increasing popularity or being heard…but about caring…loving…listening…and leading others to a life with God who makes all the difference. Another quote I hold dear to my heart says “I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou) So…how do we make others feel each day? Do we care enough to listen? Do we care enough to love? I developed a little quote I try to share with our children each day that I hope will make a difference in their lives. I try to always tell them…”You are never alone and always loved.” I pray we all will learn to grasp that truth…and share it with all those we meet on this journey. We just don’t know who is waiting to be heard and loved.♥~thl