“Loss has been part of my journey. But it has also shown me what is precious.” (N. Sparks)
Occasionally I hear something relatively simple…that becomes very important to me. This quote is one of them. Recently, our daughter gave me a set of movies and as I casually watched one of them, this sentence was spoken at the end. I immediately felt familiarity, reality and pain stir deep within my heart, mind and soul.
It hasn’t been an easy year, to say the least. Those who know me well are aware that since December, I have had three uncles, one aunt, two cousins and our adopted KY Dad pass away. Our family also suffered a heart-breaking tragedy when our six year adoption journey ended…after having our little girl’s picture, info, clothes, toys, room and place in our hearts and family for six months. But it doesn’t stop there. Over the years, life has brought additional and repeated loss to us by death, disease and decisions of others. It has been overwhelming, life-changing, faith-building and painfully unexplainable. But one thing is certain. We are all too familiar with loss.
Of course, we realize that our lives remain very blessed. Many precious people have lost far more than we can ever imagine. Our hearts ache for those who have suffered tremendous pain, suffering and loss in their lives. We have seen families and friends face horrendous tragedies and we would never desire to minimize their experiences or journeys.
So what do we do with loss? It is inevitable in this world. History has shown that loss has consistently co-existed with mankind since time began. Loss of relationships, lives, marriages, families, health, dreams, goals, plans and even kingdoms are nothing new. Sometimes others’ losses seem far removed from our personal lives. Sadly, at other times, loss is much too close…over and over and over again.
It is a bit tempting to discuss the stages of grief since one of my college degrees is in counseling/psychology. But that is certainly not my intention or focus at the moment. For now, it is far more important for me to express my heartfelt thoughts about life…before losses and grief…and life-changing events. How could we possibly handle loss before it happens? Well, in my own personal experiences, I have found a few simple thoughts to be of utmost importance and value prior to loss.
Live…do much more than simply exist! Live as if there is no tomorrow! For tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Live…embracing the gift of each moment, each breath, each day, each opportunity. Do not put off living until “life settles down.” It may not happen. Live…making the most of each conversation, each meal together with loved ones, each celebration, each Sunday drive or each night sitting on the deck looking at the stars. Live…taking nothing for granted. Each trip to town, visit with a friend, family vacation, phone call with a sibling or note to a grandparent…could be the last one we have. Live…realizing that the simple moments are usually the greatest moments. Live…giving your very best in what you do, who you see, how you speak or decisions you make. Live…fully with your heart, mind and soul. Live for Him…with faith, hope, love and peace…and gratitude. Live…
Love…those around you…family, friends, neighbors, anyone placed in your path. Love them in the great times, the daily times, the tough times and the uncertain times. Love them…even if they don’t agree with you. Love them…even if they don’t love you. Love the ones who know you and still love you! See the good in each one and the amazing gifts God has given them. Love their beauty, their wisdom, their life story, their journey, their hopes and dreams. Love the ways they love. Never take anyone for granted. Treat each moment, conversation, meal, movie, hello and goodbye…as if it’s the first and last time you will see them for awhile. It may be. Hug them a little longer. Hold their hand a little tighter. Tell them how much you love them and what they mean to you. Take pictures. Treasure each precious person in your life as a gift from God. They are in your life for a purpose. Laugh together. Cry together. Work together. Play together. Talk about something besides the weather. Speak from your heart. Cherish each moment. Love those you have never met. Pray for those you do and do not know. Pray for the hurting, lost, broken and burdened. Put love and prayers in actions…don’t just stop at words. Anyone can say them. Love means commitment and action. Love that God created you and placed you here for a reason. He loves you. Love Him. Love…and be loved.
Learn. Learn what is important in this life and what is not. Ten years from now, some things won’t matter at all. Ten years from now, some things will matter immensely. Learn to not waste time on the trivial. Learn to make time for what matters, especially loved ones. Learn that there are things we cannot change. Learn that lives are changed by genuinely caring. Learn something new each day…a new word, a new fact about your spouse and children, a new Scripture verse, a new song, or a new way of looking at life. Never stop learning. Life is full of new blessings. Learn to look for them, see them and be grateful for them. Learn to treat others with kindness and respect. Learn to stand for truth. Learn to forgive. Learn to lean on God. Learn to appreciate our wonderful United States of America and others’ sacrifices. Learn…to receive each blessing and to be a blessing. Learn that life is precious, fragile, difficult and amazing. Learn…share it…and learn more.
The list continues as my life lessons unfold but it is simply reduced to this. Facing loss on many levels of my life has taught me that I have a choice. I can stop living because I have lost so much. Or I can live more passionately because I now realize what matters the most! Each moment, loved one, lesson and step of this journey continue to reveal the increasing brilliance of a shining, priceless gift…called life…precious, irreplaceable, never-pass-this-way-again, glorious God-given life. Some seasons are exciting while others are excruciating. Some take our breath while others break our hearts. Some build us up while others tear us apart. But struggles teach us to soar, trials teach us to triumph and burdens lead us to embrace the blessings. And each experience brings more light to what is most precious. I can’t tell you that my heart doesn’t hold an ocean of grief for who and what I have lost. It does. I can’t tell you that no matter what happens, I have a brilliant smile on my face at all times. I don’t. I can’t claim that tears don’t fall behind closed doors or when no one is around. They do. But I can tell you this….I know now…more than ever before…that each loss in this life has given me an incredible reason to realize what I hold dear…those I love, the life I have here on Earth, new life with Him and my loved ones for eternity, and lessons I have learned along the way which changed me forever. Loss is not pleasant. But loss reveals what is most precious. May I live, love and learn each day. This is precious and I don’t want to miss a moment! ♥~thl
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