Although life has been interesting recently, I was ironically more concerned about a "minor" issue than anything else. It didn't bother me much that I had no voice. It didn't bother me much that I listened much more than spoke. It didn't bother me much that I was uncertain about the situation. What bothered me most...was I could no longer sing. I could feel music. I could hear music. I could play music. But I could not sing...at all. Nothing.
Of course, my voice is not famous. I am not even close to Kari Jobe, Sandi Patty or any other well-recognized level of talent. I began singing as a very young child, long before I attended school. I have been singing ever since. I sang in choirs. I sang in groups. I sang duets. I sang solos. I took private voice lessons. My voice is very soft and very soprano. It is simple...and nothing special. But it comes from my heart. It always has. It always will. So being unable to sing has been frustrating and frightening.
Several nights ago, I turned on the music. As I took a deep breath, I evaluated my vocal ability. There was improvement, for which I was very grateful. But...I still couldn't actually sing. My heart sank. Thoughts and fears surrounded me. Then I remembered one of my favorite Scripture passages.
"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3: 17
I learned more from that passage than ever before. I was reminded that He is with me. Voice or no voice, His Presence is secure. I was reminded that He is mighty. With or without my voice, His plan for my life will unfold through His power. I was reminded that He takes great delight in me. Me? Really? That truth was a bit difficult to swallow. But I had to accept that no matter what is going on around me or within me, He takes delight in me. Wow! Then I read that He will quiet me with His love. Well, He definitely had the quiet part in place. But the love part...touched my heart deeply. Even in...especially in...the most still and searching places, His love is with me! With or without a voice, God's love for me is personal...precious...and powerful. Next I read that He will rejoice over me with singing. I have always loved that part. I can hardly wait to hear Him singing when I go Home. Then it occurred to me. He sings over me daily. In the gentle mountain breeze, in the sunrise and the sunset, in the ebb and flow of the ocean waves, in the laughter of loved ones, in the music He allows me to hear and play, even in the stillness of the night...He is singing over me...and rejoicing! Peace rushed over me as I was reminded that it has never been...and never shall be about my voice. It's always about Him...His love...His plan...His purpose...His peace...His hope...and His voice. That means the most! Whether I ever sing again was no longer significant. What matters most is that He is honored and praised!
Yesterday I turned on music, as I usually do. I was no longer thinking about my voice. It was a time to simply listen and enjoy His amazing gift of music. I heard some soft harmony that doesn't usually happen on that selection...and I soon realized it was...my voice. It was soft. It was weak. It is healing. But I was singing...again! I am very grateful that He has restored my voice. Yet I am even more thrilled for the reminder of the Source of music. May each word I speak or write, each note I sing or play...and each breath I take...truly reflect Him. May His voice be obvious above all!♥~thl
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