It's true. I am a deep thinker. I may be very quiet during group discussions and conversations. But I am definitely thinking. As long as I can remember, I have been a very analytical thinker. Thinking before saying or doing something has been much more beneficial than times when I didn't think first. Unfortunately, those were quite plentiful.
I used to think that as I grew older, I would have more answers than questions about life. However, time has brought many more questions than answers. Not only am I changing, but the world is changing, life is changing and other people are changing...which brings more questions. From a very young child who asked "why" more times a day than my parents could answer...to a middle-age wife and mom who still asks why...how...when...where...and what, it's difficult to accept that there will never be answers to all my questions. It's not necessarily wrong to seek answers on this journey. It's just that there are no guarantees they will always be available.
Honestly, this year has been challenging for my family on multiple levels. It wasn't the proverbial "one thing after another" scenario. It has been continued, multiple concerns and circumstances. As I tried to analyze and prioritize each situation, I found myself becoming increasingly overwhelmed and frustrated. Then I read a Scripture passage that greatly changed my perception.
"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow and the Lord will be with you." 2 Chronicles 20: 17
For much too long, I have focused on analyzing whats, whys, whens and wheres...instead of accepting Who is Present...Who is in control...Who will guide..Who is faithful...Who truly cares...Who is aware of every detail...and Who loves me most. What I must do is trust Him, turn all cares over to Him and face each moment knowing He is holding me in His arms continually.
Perhaps He will help me find answers occasionally. Perhaps He will simply remind me that He is the Answer no matter what happens. Perhaps...well, definitely...He will shake His head and smile as He remembers giving me this inquisitive mind for a reason only He knows. Most of all, I pray that my trust will remain firm and my hope steadfast. He is always with me and that's something I have no reason to ever question.♥~thl
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