There are some days that tug on our hearts more than others. Some days are unforgettable, irreplaceable and so deeply engraved into the core of our existence that we are changed forever. February 18 will always be a bittersweet day for me. It is the birthday of a precious little girl we will always love. Always.
Song was born in China and although there were clothes in her closet, books to be read, a crib for her to sleep in, a high chair for her to eat in, a family who longed to bring her home and call her their own...it didn't happen. I will never understand the obvious call to adopt her yet the heartbreak that the six year journey brought...ending with empty arms, shattered dreams and a family that mourns her absence every day. We would celebrate her sixth birthday if she were home with us now. Yet there will be no birthday cake, no pink balloons, no friends sleeping over and no squeals of laughter filling our house on this day.
Although Song never made it into our arms, she will always live in our hearts. Nothing will ever remove her place in our hearts, lives, prayers and family. She taught us so much about trusting God when there are no answers, no excuses, no reasons and no healing of the hole in our lives. The pain will always be present...because our love for her will always remain. So as my heart aches, throbs and seems to tear into countless pieces on this day, I am grateful. I am grateful for the opportunity to love her, to see her precious face in pictures, to know her name, to know her birthday and so many details about her first two years of life. My arms never held her but my heart will always embrace her...and celebrate her life. I will never be the same because of that precious little girl who never came home but touched our lives forever.
I am grateful that God knows all about her and holds her in His loving arms. I am grateful that He watches over her each moment. I am grateful that He taught me how much He loves me. He lost a child once, too. It is because of His love and compassion that I believe He always knows what is best, even when we don't understand. He has taught me how to love...unconditionally and eternally. He has taught me about true faith, relentless hope and trusting Him...completely.
Happy Birthday, Song. You are loved so very much and you will always be remembered. Always. Thank you for the joy you brought us...and the love we will always hold in our hearts for you. <3~thl
“If some lives form a perfect circle, other take shape in ways we cannot predict or always understand. Loss has been part of my journey. But it has also shown me what is precious. So has love for which I can only be grateful.”
― Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle
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