Several years ago, my Mom gathered childhood pictures and memorabilia for each of the five children. We enjoyed looking at my old pictures, piano recital programs, report cards and other items. Yet one of my favorite treasures found was my "Certificate of Baptism" from my home church.
Forty-three years ago today, July 25, 1971, I walked into a small creek on a local farm and was baptized by our minister, Richard Corey Besteder. Although long ago, I can still hear the water brushing against the rocks, birds singing in the trees, grass rustling as the crowd moved closer, and the Church family singing after each baptism. I remember feeling the rocks under my feet as I walked into the water. I remember feeling the very, very cool water surrounding me.
Most of all, I remember the excitement I felt as I realized my life was different now. It was a new beginning. It was exciting. It was about Him and no longer about me. It was hopeful.
Much has happened since that sunny Sunday afternoon in the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia. Much more than I could have ever imagined. Wonderful opportunities arose that I never expected. Horrible tragedies and losses also occurred. I wish I could say that I handled each moment like I should have. But I didn't. I wish I could say that I always trusted, followed, focused and prioritized each choice well. But I didn't. I wish I could say that I have understood, agreed, accepted and approved of what He allowed or didn't allow. But I haven't.
Oh, I didn't forget that Sunday afternoon in the creek. I didn't forget the decision I made from the depths of my heart. I didn't forget the gratitude I felt for God's love and forgiveness. I didn't really forget anything about that day...or moment...or choice. Instead I stumbled, fell, questioned, argued, resented and resisted.
Yet I am learning. Life doesn't make sense. It definitely isn't fair. Answers aren't always available. Understanding isn't a guaranteed option. And my way...usually isn't the best way. I still fall, question, argue, resent and resist. But knowing that more of my life is behind me than before me, I have learned to embrace what really matters...to cherish loved ones while I can...to live loving and love living...and to accept that this is not the big picture...yet.
I am grateful as my eyes open each morning, as I walk through the day, as I take each breath, hug each loved one, speak to family and friends, work, write, sing and play. Many folks no longer can do so. An attitude of gratitude has become an incredible tool on this journey. Most of all, I am overwhelmed that the same God Who watched my baptism in that creek forty-three years ago...Who knows my failures, fears and frustrations...somehow still loves me...today. He hasn't given up on me. He's still working on me. He still has a plan for this middle-aged Mom whose own plans didn't turn out as hoped. I pray that the rest of my days will be spent learning, loving and living...His way.♥~thl
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5: 1>2
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