It's Valentine's Day...and it is my prayer that every beating heart will know love. But I must admit...I used to dread February 14. Yes, I love pink. I love flowers. White chocolate is delicious. Cards are wonderful. But that sinking feeling deep inside hurt so deeply. Somehow, I measured the value of Valentine's Day based on whether I was "worth it" enough to date or be included in the excitement of the day.
This was very difficult for me in college. I was usually everyone's friend or sister...but rarely anyone's "gal." When the time arrived for the Sweetheart Banquet, and dating details swarmed the campus about who was going with whom...I knew I would not attend the banquet. So I jumped in my VW, drove off campus, grabbed a sandwich somewhere and returned to campus at just the right time. That time would deliberately be after all the couples had gone to the banquet. I didn't enjoy watching them leave or return. I knew that if I was away, I could escape the beginning. If I returned to campus while they were gone, I could go to my room, turn on music and stay busy to hopefully muffle the laughter and excitement upon their return. Hopefully.
I had many precious friends on campus. I was happy for all those at the banquet. I knew I wasn't the only student left in the dorms. But somehow I felt so...rejected...left out...insignificant...ignored...invaluable. Rather than admit it, I assured myself that it was ok to be "independent"...and I pushed that pain deep within the secret places of my soul.
Reflecting back on that time, I now see it differently. Of course, isolation from the banquet crowd was painful. Hearing preparations in the dorms wasn't easy. Realizing I was loved enough as a sister or friend but not as a date...was challenging. But I wish that I had not seen that situation as a measurement of my value. How wonderful it may have been to plan something for "non-banquet" students. How precious it would have been if I had simply driven off campus to the nearby lake...and spent time praying to the One Who loved me most.
Today celebrates love. But it is my hope and prayer that we will spend every day...sharing love with others...freely, kindly, joyfully, gratefully. Each heart needs to know someone cares. Each life deserves to know value, compassion, respect and hope in Him. Many loved ones cherish this day in a special way. I certainly understand that. But I must also wonder about the incredible opportunities February 14...and every day of life...would bring if we simply choose to share love...generously, unconditionally, openly and unselfishly...with every precious heart placed in our path. How tragic it is that some hearts break even deeper on a day meant for sharing love. May His love...help me love...each heart...for Him. ♥~thl
"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." 1 John 4: 11 > 12
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